The mere statement by a politician that we need a “Revolution at the ballot box” is their way of saying that you can vote all you want to but you can’t really do a damn thing about the way the country is run.  You can’t do a damn thing about overspending because you don’t really have anything to do with it.  You can’t refuse to go to an undeclared war and fight or you’ll go to jail.  You have absolutely no say in how this country is run.  You may influence City and County politics.  There is a slight possibility that you can influence State politics if you have a bunch of money to throw around but unless you represent an interest with billions of dollars at stake you cannot ever influence the Federal Government.

George Carlin is not trying to be funny in this video: It’s a warning. Whether you agree with Carlin’s politics or not, you have to concede the point:

The Federal Government as a whole believes you exist to further their wants and desires.  If a revolution ever came – a civil war or even a war where all citizens unite against the government and take up our arms against them – our own government would mow us down and chop us to pieces until we lost the stomach for the fight.  You can fight city hall, but you can’t fight the Federal Government.

We will not be able to take the country back with a coup.  We are pretty much coup – proof  if you don’t consider the changing of Democrat to Republican and vice-avers a coup after every election.  If we want to truly take the country back we have to do it with a good old fashioned targeted revolution.  Burning cars in the streets is not going to help.  Torching Federal buildings is not going to help – we need those buildings and they cost money to rebuild.  As I see it there is only one way to actually give control of the Federal Government back to the people – and then systematically dismantling corrupt state governments in the same fell swoop.  The Military option.

Now to be clear, I am not advocating killing anyone because it won’t be necessary, although the President’s Secret Service Escort will certainly fight to the death to protect him even in a bloodless military coup.  The special forces team whose charge it is to secure the president will just have to use blow darts, or taze them bro.  We don’t want anyone killed.  We want the do-nothing politicians to surrender power, step down and go get a real job outside of government never to run for public office again.  This is not a rant against Obama – I kind of like the guy – but he is still part of the problem, and I’d like it very much if he were part of the solution.   The military, with a multi-partisan citizens committee as an equal partner would have the task of dismantling the parts of the Federal Government that make no sense and adjusting the size of the government to where all entities be they citizens or corporations would pay their fair share – 10% tax on all income.  If you can’t run a government on 10% tax then you need to get out of the governing business.  That’s what this is really all about.  The Federal Government has no more respect for it’s citizens and they won’t be happy until all our paychecks go to them and they decide how much of an allowance we get back.  The unbridled greed and expansion of power has to stop.

Tea Partiers, Occupiers, Registered Voters, Moderates, Liberals, Conservatives (both kinds) and those who are apolitical all agree about one thing – the way the government is working can not continue.  We have to do something besides vote the bastards out – then vote some new bastards in.  The Military option.

I appeal to the United States Armed Forces: Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, National Guard and any of those that I forgot or don’t know about to come up with a plan to take back this country and then implement that plan.  There is no need for violence, only the threat of violence.  Find out who is amenable to the task at hand and who isn’t.  If those who aren’t are in a position to derail the process they must be sent to a re-education center like Guantanamo.  Just until we get things figured out over here, then they can come back.  After all they are American Citizens and they have inalienable rights.  Oh Congress, by the way you enacted laws that allow us to suspend your rights if you are declared Terrorists or Enemy Combatants, so you need to get used to the idea that this is going to be used against you.  By your actions you have, as a collective body, sold this country to the highest bidder be they countries or corporations and this is a reprehensible act against the sovereignty of our Nation.  You are hereby branded as Terrorists and if you attempt to defend yourselves in any way you will be labeled Enemy Combatants and the Military can use their drones to kill you and your families.  I hereby place you collectively under Citizen’s house arrest.  Your options are to do your job and whittle the government down to size right now – not a long term goal, a short term one as in begin immediately or be arrested by the Military.

Military guys, I’ve gotta ask you to play ball with me on this one.  Congress passed and the President signed a bill that allows you to arrest them all – The National Defense Authorization Act.  You can arrest any American and hold them indefinitely.  You know as well as I and the rest of the American people that the Federal Government is FUBARed and can’t continue.  You know you are the only option. 

When it costs a Billion dollars to run for president then things are seriously wrong and you guys are the only ones in the position to find out why and to fix it.  I mean in America anyone can grow up to be president if you have a Billion Dollars?  Come on…  Bring Colin Powell back for this operation – I’m pretty sure he knows the score.  Oh and hey, we want to preserve our facilities so you gotta leave out the guys who love to blow stuff up.  Sorry stealth bomber pilots, your role is strictly observational this time.  If you guys can pull this off the headlines around the world will be:  “US ARMED FORCES ARREST THOUSANDS OF CORRUPT POLITICIANS IN NATIONWIDE SWEEP ON BEHALF OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND THEIR CONSTITUTION”. “MILITARY COURT TO BEGIN HEARINGS ON CORRUPTION”. “US PREDATOR DRONE FIRES MISSILE AT FLEEING SENATOR – SCORES!”. “MESSAGE TO CORRUPT GOVERNMENTS, YOUR ARMY IS OUT TO GET YOU”. AMERICAN MILITARY STAGES COUP IN NAME OF CITIZENS – OTHER NATION’S MILITARY’S EXPECTED TO FOLLOW SUIT”.

You, the military guys are our last shot at freedom. Politicians have put your Generals and Officers into place knowing they are loyal to them, so it may be that this has to start with the Noncoms and their immediate supervisors. The only justification you need is the Constitution and the protection of the American people. That’s why we have you guys, not to go start wars for various reasons of profit. You’re sworn to uphold the constitution and I say it’s time you do that particular job. Your new MOS? American Freedom Fighter. Hooah!

One thing I want you to add to the law books comes from College Football: If a Party is caught cheating or breaking laws in any way, they are banned from Television for a period of time. I mean, shouldn’t we hold politicians at least as accountable as a college football team? This should keep them a little more honest or sneaky, I’m not sure which.

I probably should have had my lawyer take a look at this before I published it since I did call for a military takeover of the Federal Government, but I’m pretty sure the Constitution protects my right to free speech and specifically to talk about and plan for the overthrow of the Federal Government if it becomes too oppressive, but since no one reads this blog anyway who really cares?  We’ll just test the First Amendment right here and now.  See you in Guantanamo.

This video has no relation to this post – I have always thought it was funny:

My belief is that Federal Government’s job is to create and maintain national infrastructure, keep a standing army and keep our borders safe.  That’s pretty much all the framers of the constitution had in mind.  The states handle the rest since they can more easily cater to their local citizen’s desires.

As it turns out an affluent people like ourselves sometimes choose to pool their money in other ways for the betterment of society.  Usually this means funding for infrastructure, science, research and art.  I support that because I am willing to pay my small part to influence those areas.  What I am not in support of and hence not willing to spend my money to fund is “America the World Police”, “America the busybody old spinster” who is always in everyone’s business, “America the evangelical nation” where we push our religion and national philosophys on other peoples.  I can’t support the Department of Education any further than them publishing guidelines for the states to peruse and follow at their own discretion.  Nationalistic Education Curriculum has been a bad idea throughout history.  “Beware of those who would control information, for in their hearts they feel themselves your master”.  Same with healthcare – the government could sponsor a competition to design an affordable health plan, create a website where insurers could post plans and prices (hence spurring free markets) but they have no business in healthcare. We are not socialists and we had better all remember that. There is more, much more but it will have to wait.  Ron Paul is right about getting rid of the seven agencies you know, but his elderly demeanor and squeaky voice make it harder for shallow voters to listen to him.

Ronald Reagan: "Ron Paul is one of the outstanding leaders fighting for a stronger national defense. As a former Air Force officer, he knows well the needs of our armed forces, and he always puts them first. We need to keep him fighting for our country."

The biggest things we have to fear from our government right now are these:

(1) It costs way too much money to run for office.  We need to open up PBS as a free forum for candidates by using one of their spare frequencies.   We need a ten year moratorium on all advertisement outside of the free public forums in order to break the billion dollar election cycle.  Politicians spend most of their time raising money and politicking, then in elected fulfilling promises to the special interest groups that got them elected.  This will be the most heated and fought against topic anyone could bring up right now.  The two major parties like it the way that it is.  Hundreds of millions of dollars are pumped into the media during campaigns, and they will fight it tooth and nail.  The special interest groups will pull out all the stops to get any meaningful campaign reform killed.  Basically everyone except the majority of the American people will be against it.  But it is too important to put off – we have to have drastic campaign finance reform now before it is too late.  That goes along with campaigning time limits as you will see next.

(2)  There is absolutely no reason why a politician should campaign for two or three years to get a four year job.  Think about your own job.  While a certain amount of politicking goes on at every job if you had to spend big money campaigning for 3 years to keep your job for 4 years you would never get anything done and your company would go out of business.  This is exactly what is happening to the USA right now.  Our politicians can’t get anything done because if they aren’t working for donations they are traveling trying to get elected.  They work less than 25% of their time in office as a general rule.  You or I do that at work and we will be out the door.  We need to set limits on how long a politician running for national office can politic for his job.  I’m not proposing this be made effective for the states – this is a federal issue.  The number that strikes me as the appropriate amount of time to campaign for office is five percent of the office’s term.  That would be 73 days for a 4 year term or 18 days per year of the term of office.  This way they need less time to raise money, campaign less and can concentrate on the business at hand – running this country!

(3) Virtually every politician on the National level thinks he is your master and not the other way around.  In their minds we exist to fund their projects, pay their buddies and enrich themselves.  We are people they have to put up with in the course of their jobs.  There are no public servants in the national political arena – only players.  We are run by professional politicians who are little more than actors and they want the leading role.  Somehow politicians must be humbled back into their public service role where their only goal is to further the immediate goals of our country on our soil.  When we have our house in order then we can begin to nonviolently help raise other countries standard of living as an altruistic venture – as long as we can pay for it as we go.

(4) National Debt/Deficit Smoke Screen.  Since the 1980′s politicians have been trying to confuse people about the budget deficit and the national debt.  There have been claims that deficit spending stimulates the economy.  The National Debt is somehow an asset instead of a liability.  The fact is that to pay off the national debt we have to balance our budget (zero budget deficit) and set up a repayment plan over the next 20 or so years to pay back the national debt. This has gone on too long and is out of control.  The people that don’t want this to happen are the Federal Reserve, enterprise sized banks and the countries who we owe the money to and their central banks.  We pay them a huge amount of money every year in interest on this debt – and we pay our bills on time so they know they’re gonna get paid.  They really don’t want us to pay it back.  The National Debt exploded under Reagan and has been mushrooming ever since.  We are just about to the point where we will have to slash all government operations in order to service this debt.  That means smaller government, less money spent on infrastructure, no entitlement programs of any kind, a tiny little military and less of all things government provides.  While I’m a big fan of a smaller, less intrusive Federal government I would like a controlled reduction over time rather than a forced downsizing.

(5)  Constant War.  There is absolutely no reason for us to go to war in this day and age.  We have the ability to solve conflicts remotely with drones and missiles or with small heavily armed special forces teams that inflict great damage.  Fact is our most recent wars weren’t really any of our business.  Iraq invades Kuwait…aren’t there countries in the area who can take care of this?  They didn’t have to because we jumped in.  Wars solidify a President’s place in the history books and enrich the “Military Industrial Establishment” and serve little other purpose unless we are attacked.  Then it’s Katy bar the door because your average American will take up arms to protect our country.

(6) Forcing Regime Change.  We are way too up in other peoples business.  Over half the time when we topple the government in another country it backfires on us.  Call it “blowback” if you like.  If we were able to liberate a country and set up a legitimate government for the people and of the people and then promptly get the hell out, we could make friends in doing so.  However we don’t have a government “of and for the people” ourselves, so we have absolutely no chance in setting one up anywhere else.  The best we can hope for is to set up a regime that will “Play Ball” with us for a time until they become so corrupt and rich that they no longer need us.  Ron Paul is right about this one too and the reason the establishment hates his opinion on this topic is because there is HUGE MONEY in wars and producing weapons and intelligence for war.  There is no reason for us to covertly force regime change if we learn to mind our own business.  We have trained diplomats for that.

(7)  Forcing you to live a certain way.  I dare say that National Health Care in it’s current form will be found largely unconstitutional.  We are going to need a constitutional amendment to ensure the right to every American for health care before we can have a national mandate.  At the point where we realize this we will also realize that the current system of insurance companies and private health care facilities will no longer work – we will have to exercise eminent domain and just TAKE the hospitals and clinics and make the health insurance companies largely irrelevant. When sick your first health care contact will be a pharmacist who will treat you or refer you to a doctor as needed.  Urgent care would be handled similar to now except every medical facility in the country would be owned by us – the US government.  While we could certainly make that work for us – and the massive unemployment caused by killing the medical corporations could be easily handled in retraining those employees to help meet the vastly increased demand for actual health care – not an unnecessary, ancillary position like they held before.  We could do that.  Or we could castrate the FDA, the HHS (and others) in effect deregulating health care to a degree that will allow individual doctors to practice medicine on their own again.  Health care has got to be taken out of the hands of the government and the huge medical corporations and put back in the hands of the Doctors, Nurses, Pharmacists and other health care professionals that really don’t require a lot of regulation or paperwork to do their jobs.

(8)  Lobbying.  Honestly there should only be one lobby in this country.  The lobby for the American People.  That’s not the way it is and “K” street rules Washington with an iron wallet.  The way to fix this is a clear two pronged strategy.  The first is to put a ten year hiatus on professional lobbying.  That is to say only people who get paid to lobby need to find other jobs.  Regular people could still try to talk to their Senators and Representatives as it should be, but no paid lobbyist allowed.  Ten years of a moratorium would kill the industry and after that we could reassess our National position on the subject.  The second is to put a ten year hiatus on politicians taking money from any person or business while they are holding elected office.  We will provide apartment like housing for them and their families in DC, but not over the top lavish, just nice middle class digs.  We will pay them a reasonably high salary and provide full benefits during their term.  They’ll get a company car and a gas card.  I’m trying to describe very good middle class benefits that we all wish we got with our jobs.  We treat them well, but they can take money from no one during their time in office except for their Federal Government paychecks.  Taking the money out of politics will weed out the fortune seekers and help us elect candidates who will actually work and when their term is over they will go home.

(9) Government intrusion into your privacy.  The police and federal police and military agencies have stacked the deck.  If they merely suspect you of some subversive activity (like being black or Muslim) the laws are in place to let them violate your privacy in any number of ways.  They can toss a gps tracking device on your car without a warrant.  They can tap your phones,  watch  your house, take thermal video inside your house from the outside, electronically snoop through your cell phones and computers, set up listening devices to hear you inside your home, etc.  I do believe this was covered in the Bill of Rights which is of course, the first ten amendments in the Constitution.  It reads:

• Fourth Amendment – Protection from unreasonable search and seizure.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

The framers didn’t leave a lot to the imagination there, did they?  Yet this simple topic has been debated, stretched and misconstrued until the simplicity of the statement has become full of nuance and implied powers that were clearly never intended to exist.

(10)  Federal Government Gathering Power and Increasing in Scope and Size.  I don’t think that the folks that run the Federal Government are evil, I really don’t.  But department heads being what they are they hate to reduce a budget and indeed lobby for a bigger budget every year.  This alone increases the size of government somewhat.  Big departments like the CIA, FBI (+other law enforcement) want to increase the scope of their power and influence because it make their job easier.  Lots easier to catch bad guys if you can ignore everyone’s constitutional rights.  It doesn’t make them evil they are just taking the path of least resistance.  Agencies like the DOE’s (Education and Energy) seem hell bent on controlling every aspect of their charges.  They believe they are smarter than we are and have all the answers.  This attitude from some departments is the scariest thing because that’s how big government is born. They come up with an idea to protect the children, they sell it to you relentlessly until you believe it and then it becomes law…or at least policy.  Social and moral issues have no place in the Federal Government, but politicians campaign on these hot buttons to keep you from realizing that while they may be electable they are absolutely incapable of doing the job they are trying to get elected to.

To Recap:

• We must virtually eliminate commercial political campaigning on the National Political Stage for at least ten years (if not permanently) in order to break the system power brokering and corruption that is fueling a runaway government.

• Lobbying must be completely stopped during that time while new approaches are studied.

• Those who seek political office should be doing it out of a desire to briefly serve their country before moving on to let the next person have the honor.

• We must curtail spending to the point where we can pay back the national debt in a reasonable time.

• We must stop the incessant wars and pull most of our troops out of their current deployment, reinforce our own borders while leaving a reasonable number of strategic bases around the world.

• We must mind our own business. Diplomacy must be used exclusively in negotiating with other sovereign countries.

•  The government needs to exit the strategy of trying to protect people from themselves and legislating morality.  Give people the benefit of the doubt that they can make good choices for themselves and if they don’t, well we’ll have less stupid people to take care of.

• The government must make itself smaller, less intrusive and more efficient.  I suggest a fair flat tax on sales with few exclusions and retrain the employees of the IRS (since we won’t need that expensive entity anymore)  into efficiency experts who would then disperse into the nation reviewing the daily operations of government offices and making recommendations for changes that will save money and increase productivity.  Kind of a “Federal Government Efficiency Audit”. The final directive of that Federal Efficiency Department would be to eliminate itself.

Since nobody reads my blog I may stop writing articles and just write down random thoughts about this or that.  For instance this “Kim Kardashian” chick…why does anyone care about her?  Is it because her step-dad is Bruce Jenner?  Is it because she is the junior representative for sluttiness?  I mean if you ignore her many physical flaws she is semi-cute, but she has the look of someone with a whiny bad attitude who is used to getting her way.  Not someone I really give a damn about and I can’t figure out why anyone else does – except her immediate family.

The natural flow of that thought prompts me to remind the reader (me) that television not only sucks, but it is very destructive to thought processes.  People who watch tv a lot seem to be more willing to let other people make the choices for them.  They have a tendency to like the “pitchmen” and believe that what they say is the truth or they couldn’t say it.  It isn’t always the shows on tv that turn your mind to mush, it’s the ADVERTISING.  Advertisements are like the little lies everyone tells:  They only need to contain one truth and the rest can be half truths or allusions to half truths and they get away with it.  Advertising is the great satan in this country if you ask me…or rather, believing advertisements is the great satan.

Iran, sorry to rip off your buzz phrase, but I need it for a minute.  You see, this country, this world and all it’s problems are created by you.  Ok, me since I’m the only one that reads this.  I created all the problems…War, Rape, non-nutritional cardboard breakfast cereal.  I created all of them by buying into the bullshit I was fed on TV!  Do you really need to eat cereal in the morning?  Is it really a cornerstone of a healthy breakfast?   No, of course that’s bullshit.  They take wheat, remove all the nutrients, bleach it, spray some nutrients back on it and turn it into breakfast cereal.  Bread is the enemy in your diet, people…for breakfast you need to have a little meat, some eggs and grab a piece of toast…leave the cereal and drink a glass of milk.  The great satan (advertising) created the need for expensive worthless cereal and we have kept it alive for half a century.  It’s bad for you and we love it.

Pitch men, whether selling cereal, some new device or politics are always going to lie to you.  There may be a modicum of half truth to their pitch, but it’s result is to sway you into doing something you would have thought was stupid a few minutes ago.

You know that most tv pitchmen share similar traits to politicians?  They think way too much of themselves, run towards cocaine abuse, think they’re above the law, etc.

They are like that because they listened to other pitchmen’s bullshit until they believed what they were saying.  I imagine that Kim Kardashian’s parents and family must have told her how special she was about a million times growing up and now she believes it…the helluvit is that you believe it too!

The matrix is real/we are the matrix.  Reality is illusory.  Take a hundred story skyscraper and remove all the empty space from between the atoms that comprise it and it would look like a hundred million pound grain of brown rice.  We are, we live and exist in holograms.  Quantum mechanics is a lovely philosophy…it reads like the worlds best science fiction.  What I like about it is that it cuts through the brown sloggy stuff and gets to reality…which is an illusion.  Then quantum mechanics proves it is an illusion with mathematics and throws the results in your face like Billy Mays.  And that’s not all you get.

Most people think quantum mechanics is voodoo, and they would of course be right because reality is voodoo.

Guilty by Media Assasination

Headlines:  “NARCO GANGS TERRORIZE US MEXICO BORDER”, “PIRATES KIDNAP FOUR AMERICANS”.

EDIT: The day after this post the pirates killed all four hostages before US Special Forces could board the ship.  Unfortunately we did not kill any of the kidnappers, we took them prisoner.  Assassin Tourists would not follow those Rules Of Engagement.

I hate those guys, don’t you?  I mean I have a deep abiding hate for the murderous gangs of narcotic traffickers and the Somali pirates.  Truly they are piss-ants and not worth the ammo it would take to kill them…or are they?

What if a guy, let’s say Ross Perot (and Ross, I’m only picking on you because you can afford it and you have the balls to do it – nothing personal) put together a little army of say a couple hundred drones armed with Hellfire missles, .50 cal machine guns, thermite nades, and all the standard drone goodies the armies of the world use daily?  Let’s say he put that Drone Army on an old battleship converted for the purpose of being a drone aircraft carrier – and complete with control rooms for driving the drones., and a nice  24 hour buffet, Or in Mexico’s case we would need Strykers…not much else, just strykers.  Ok, maybe an Abrams Tanks per stryker squad for backup…you get the picture.

This battleship is really for sale

So now we have a private citizen with his own personal army – this ain’t Ross’ first rodeo in that arena, what’s he “gonna” (nod to all you momma grizzlies) do with all that armament?  Well that ain’t napalm blowing in the wind – it’s PIRATE/NARCO ASSASSIN TOURISM!!!  Yes, with three exclamation marks!!!

So let’s say you are up for a vacation at work – You could take a Cruise ship for $5000, or for about the same money you could fly drones into Pirate encampments, harbors and safe havens and kill anyone carrying an AK-47.  Or if a land based vacation is more your style, how about doing a little bivouacking  on the US/Mexico border with forays into the Narco gang’s territory in a Stryker?  I’ve only fought with Strykers in games and simulations, but I think it would be a riot to take up a position about a half mile away from a known gang hideout and rain .50 caliber machine gun fire down upon their little heads.

Am I the only one that thinks that would be ultra cool?  Anyone?  Oh, you.  Don’t play that holier than thou crap with me sister, these people are killing harmless civilians and building their own personal armies which will eventually rival the Armies of their governments.  This is WAR and they opened the ball.  There are no excuses for not participating – You love your country don’t you?

STRYKER! A little something for everybody

There are complications those of you that might go for this sort of thing say, “They might start taking hostages”. Oh yeah, I counted on that because you are right, that is the very first thing they would do, in fact they already do it.  That’s the point, they prey on innocents.  Now, the United States has a policy that we don’t negotiate with terrorists (which pirates and narco gangs certainly are) but we do love killing them – shooting them, nading them, shooting missles at them, dropping precision bombs on them.  Precision bombs is a bit of a misnomer…did you ever hear of an F117 taking out someone’s spleen?  No, just the spleen – and nothing else.  Uh uh, so you’re gonna have collateral damage meaning some civilians are going to die.  They way we can tell when the tide of war is coming our way is when fewer civilians are dying because of our actions. And at least we won’t be leaving their decapitated heads in Taverns Y Cantinas.  That costs extra.  As long as we kill mostly terrorists and the civilian casualty rate goes down between the two forces we are winning, savvy?

So now they have taken so many hostages that the camps, coves and hideouts are overrun with them – you can’t just hose them down with HE rounds anymore, it takes true precision…you need a sniper.  In fact, those Strykers and Abrams tanks secondary role is to protect the snipers.

I personally know a lot of hunters. A LOT!   Most of them are true patriots and instead of Elk Hunting in Colorado ($8500.00 minimum for out of state), going trout fishing in Canada for $5000 – $8000, or even going out to their own home made tree stand on their own property with their favorite rifle and long range ammo $10 – $10000 (depending on how much beer you buy while you build your tree stand, scout the trails, sight your rifles and practice those tricky long shots) they would all jump at the chance to actually pay hard earned cash to help protect their country!  It’s genius I tells ya, and it brings the country together like nothing else ever could – all ethnic groups love their country, all religious groups have a history of violence with very few exceptions – a nod to you Quakers and Mennonites out there!  I’m with ya brothers, Peace out, but they all love their country.  This is about protecting the borders and having a little murderous fun in the process – how bad can that be?  I betcha even Mrs. Palin would come bag a couple of Pirates – I hear she’s hell on wheels with a .50 cal!

You were right Daddy, this is a helluva lot more fun than Six Flags!

Now boys, there is some bad news…there will be no black powder or bow season.  You just have to get to close with a bow so as to endanger yourselves and can’t reload fast enough with a black powder rifle and the TANTAMOUNT RULE #1 is not to get your customers killed.  We want you back next year.  Oh, and that brings me to my next point.

This business model is self defeating – properly managed and run I believe within three to four years there will be almost no pirates left – not enough to shoot at anyway – and the Mexican Cartels will take their ill gotten gain elsewhere and abandon their operations….”gettin out while the gettin is good” will be the motto of the day, but for the proven Mercenary Tourist with a clean track record and good kill ratio, there will always be an invitation to a private war somewhere for next year’s vacation.

Before I get back to the hunter/snipers I have to apologize to Ted Nugent about the black powder/bow statement…”Most people aren’t bad asses to your degree, Ted.  I know you could could rig an arrow – probably a crossbow bolt – to target and destroy the spleen of a terrorist with minimal surrounding damage, but most people just aren’t that good…we will let you head up the Special Sniper Damage/Destroy units and you can hand pick your teams.

In Texas there are around 17 million people (or so) and pretty close to 50 million firearms.  Those guys just live RIGHT THERE!  Right where the action is!  This is a short drive for them so they can stay longer.  And if you ask any Texan he’ll tell you that the swishiest  gay person in Texas is twice the bad ass of anyone in New York and can shoot the wings off a gnat at 200 yards with a pellet gun.  Well, Texans do like to brag, everyone knows that.

Abrams Tank: Even scarier than a double barrel shotgun

In an Unscientific Survey survey conducted under the auspices of truth, much like Fox News would do, I have polled thousands of people in the border states as to the favor-ability of such a plan and here are the results:  TEXAS: 92% of all adults 15 and over wanted to know where to apply for the permit, while 8% wanted to be clear that there would be beer available.  (it’s hot down there) (well, and Texans like their beer), NEW MEXICO: 83% would consider the Pirate Killing Cruise, but 7% said “Since Mexican weed sucks so bad now anyway, what the hell – I just don’t want to kill no cuz, esse.  ARIZONA:  Everyone polled, that is 99.99172 of the population would pay up to half their discretionary income to be a part of such an endeavor.  In fact, the only Arizona born person who said “no” was a young girl who had been kidnapped at one point and had Stockholm Syndrome.  I called and got her some therapy – she’ll be ok and plans to be among the first tourist mercs.  California was possibly the most diverse and interesting poll. 64% would definitely want in on the action, 12% would do it just to “Keep out the bad Weed, man”, 5 percent would do it if they could have some daylight hours to hunt for mushrooms, and 19% said they would do it if they were sure it would be completely confidential.  I of course assured them it would – I think they were mostly Democrats or vegetarians…not sure.  (poll margin of error +- 16%, about the same as USA TODAY).

Myself, I would want the Pirate Cruise.  Let me man a turret mounted, water cooled .50 cal, give me a couple of heat seekers for closer range, and a VSS Vintore (Russian sniper rifle) and a couple pistols and one AK…I’m set.  Even if we get scuttled I’ll kill most of them easily.

Russian Special Forces Sniper Rifle - full auto mode too!

You see an escalating arms race now don’t you?  NO.  With enough harassment those folks will go back to their historical lives of arms dealing, gun running and narco trafficking – oh wait, do I smell another Mercenary Cruise Theater?  Mmm, smells like fun – and money!

Ross Perot, Ted Nugent and Richard Branson walk into a bar…sounds like a joke but we added Branson because he is experienced at logistics, is a visionary and absolutely hates frikkin terrorists!  I’m already in the bar having a lovely iced tea with orange and lemon – unsweet and mildy shaken.  We sit in a corner booth and discuss our plans and one by one the patrons of this upscale libation dispensary who have been eavesdropping the whole time stop by the table and drop off a check – they’re in!

The upshot of it is that Ross and Richard get to do good for the world, make money and alleviate boring vacations, Ted gets to do what he does best which is shoot things while listening to “Great White Buffalo” with his his hunting buddies and I quietly sit by knowing that I will help to  leave a lasting legacy of world peace, commerce and hope for the future.

]]> http://mudblogger.com/2011/02/21/piratenarco-assassin-tourism/feed/ 0 http://mudblogger.com/2011/02/20/pirates/ http://mudblogger.com/2011/02/20/pirates/#comments Sun, 20 Feb 2011 17:10:08 +0000 admin http://mudblogger.com/?p=194 Somali pirates capture four Americans and their sailing yacht.  No big deal, right?  They capture bigger ships and the owners just pay the ransom, so why is this different?  Well pirates, I think you have just scuttled one of your last small boats.

You see, the problem is that big business can afford to pay a couple million to get back an oil tanker worth hundreds of millions of dollars (U.S., unmarked small bills, come alone) but now you are picking on regular people – well, regular rich people as it is.  As the USA “mulls it’s options” about what to do, let me clue you into what is coming your way.

(1)  Drones.  Don’t think you can hide from us – we have armed drones as small as a breadbox and as large as a jet fighter.  The minute you cross into International waters we can kill you and since there is no functional Somali government we can pretty much kill you where you stand.  We are coming for you.  I have reliable information that quite a few are headed your way. Oh, and the boys who fly the drones?  They want to kill you all.

(2) Normandy.  We stormed the beaches at Normandy against all odds and lost quite a few men, but the result was we killed everyone who stood in our way.  We’ve been to Somalia already and we know where you live.  Don’t think we won’t land a force to destroy your operations – we might be planning it right now.

(3) Shock and Awe.  Remember Baghdad?  That was nothing.  The weapons of war are continually changing.  We could bomb the hell out of your positions but it would be much easier and cleaner to use Tactical Battlefield EMP bombs to destroy the electronics on your boats and vehicles and computers and DVR’s.  That’s right, all that ill gotten gain won’t work anymore.  It’s just like nuking you but without the messy radiation.  We might do this before we do #2.

(4) Microwave beams.  We are just itching to try out this technology in battle.  It works very well against ground forces and basically just microwaves your body until your skin boils away – unless you lay down your weapons – and we may not stop even then.  We have lots of cool military tech coming your way – I hope you like it.

(5) Install a Regime.  The CIA really likes this idea – they love destroying other peoples governments and putting in their own boys.  Afterwords your own government will hunt you down and kill you.

(6) Your own constituents will kill you.  Yes, they love charging you $20 bucks for a Coca Cola, but when the drones come and blow up their shops they are going to blame you.  Then they’ll give us all the intel we want and we will all hunt you down and kill you.

Pirates, you can’t win and you deserve to die.  You corrupt your own people and unless this is stopped immediately each succeeding generation of Somalis will be better, more efficient pirates.  We have to act now and believe me when I tell you, we are coming for you.

It is time for Muslim people across the world to take back their lands from the oppressors and follow the path to righteousness that comes with Democracy and Freedom.

The USA may need you to set an example for us, for as we are continually oppressed by those who govern and spend or steal our money we may need to rise up against them as allowed in our Constitution.  We have come to a point where most of us are brainwashed into believing that a Nanny state is bad unless it is controlled by big business, then it is good for us.  We let big business write our healthcare law – in fact big business has a hand in writing almost all our laws – and the people really don’t have a say.

Good luck to the oppressed!  Rally, strike and regroup, keep up the pressure and minimize your losses.  As Sun Tzu said, “For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.”
Never give up!

Great article on a new technology to increase the efficiency of solar panels by 300%! They are about 20% efficient right now, so this should increase popularity of the panels, decrease the price due to the economies of scale and make them affordable for everyone in the not too distant future.

Company website:

http://www.hypersolar.com/technology.html